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category: stupidHow do Porcupines Make Love
If I was a horny porcupine.... I guess I could invent some pretty tall tails about how two balls of poisonous spines go about making naughty ju-ju without painful damage occuring. I know know that if I was going to have sex with a porcupine... OK lets stop that train of thought. The reality turns out to be wierder anyway:
When the male encountered the female porcupine he smelled her all over, then reared up on his hind legs, his penis fully erect. If the female was not ready she ran away. If she is prepared for mating she also reared up and faced the male, belly-to-belly. In this position most males then sprayed the female with a strong stream of urine (In one case, urine was measured on the lab floor 6 foot 7 inches from the point of discharge), soaking her from head to foot. (Johnnie, a young male, would charge the female from this position, trying to wrestle her to the ground and make sexual contact ventrally. He was never successful.)
Read the whole story.[read on...]
Sexbot v2.0
This is genius. Unmitigated freaking genius. Mad props to whoever this is.
Link.
Via. [read on...]
National Gorilla Suit Day
National Gorilla Suit Day, which mysteriously falls on January 31 of each year, is perhaps the important holiday of the year. Every National Gorilla Suit Day, people of all shapes and colors around the world get their gorilla suits out of the closet, put them on and go door-to-door.
That's really all there is to it. You don't have to buy gifts. You don't have to fast, although some Orthodox Gorilla Suiters do. If you want to have a parade, fine. Just make sure all the marchers are wearing gorilla suits and that all the balloons are giant, inflatable gorillas.
– Mark Evanier
Now that's a holiday worth celebrating!
from the Daily Monkey [read on...]
The Warlike Percys
I just read something wonderful in the Wikipedia article for the town of Alnwick:
The history of Alnwick is the history of the castle and its lords, from the days of Gilbert Tyson, variously known as Tison, Tisson, and De Tesson, one of the Conqueror's standardbearers, upon whom this northern estate was bestowed, until the present time. After being held by the family of De Vesci (of which the modern rendering is Vasey — a name found all over south-east Northumberland) for over two hundred years, it passed into the hands of the house of Percy in 1309.
At various points in the town are memorials of the constant wars between Percys and Scots in which so many Percys spent the greater part of their lives.
Wars between the Percys and the Scots. I dont know about y'all, when I imagine someone called Percy the picture is of a small, effete man in a tuxedo. Someone with unfashionable glasses, a high nasal voice and a penchant for stamp collecting. Maybe I'm being terribly unfair.
Now imagine them at war. A green field under an overcast Northumberland sky. Stretched out across it is a single line of thousands of Percys, all in their tuxedos and clutching their fencing rapiers or whatever weapons they own. They're nervously singing the Percy family hymn and stuttering.
Charging down the hillside on the other end of the field are two thousand red haired, kilt wearing, half-drunk Scots. They're shouting and swearing in gaelic over the noise of fifty clan pipers on the hill behind them. A muddy, sweaty wave of wildmen sweeping onto the field, armed with rocks and sharpened poles.
It may have been a short battle. AaaarrrrrGH![read on...]
ballot eating
Turns out that it's illegal to eat your ballot card in Canada:
Q: Is someone allowed to eat a ballot?
A: Eating a ballot, not returning it or otherwise destroying or defacing it constitutes a serious breach of the Canada Elections Act.
via[read on...]
one xbox 360
from bash.org
silic0nsilence: So it's black friday at CompUSA.
Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It's 11:58pm and there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting, maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and scream, 'LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE XBOX360!!' Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it's 12:46A, and it's black Friday. What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn't you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don't work at CompUSA any more.. [read on...]
Assvertising
Now here's a truly incredible idea, hire some models to wear short skirts with adverising space on their panties, then have them walk around a convention floor, dropping stuff and picking it up again. And this actually happened, in Kiev.
Ok Kodak, you have my full attention. Sell me something.
source [read on...]
ww.com voyeurism
Seasons greetings y'all. I've just been on a web safari of ww.com and I must say it was a little disppointing. I'd read an article on [not giving them a link] about teenage girls who (scold) who set up websites with (shock!) photo galeries of (scold) themselves, and how they sometimes show a little flesh (what about the children?) to solicit (for shame!) stuff from their wishlists. We're not talking nudity here, just cute 16/17 year olds with tank tops and fan clubs.
So after reading some stuffy and sex negative things about how these 'vulnerable teenagers' are 'exploited' when they set up non-nude, non-porn websites to wheedle gifts out of needy men, I decided it might be worth checking out.
One of the cam portals had apperently achieved infamy when girls would sometimes even flash their breasts (*gasp*) to get stuff they want. But I suspect this is all hype dreamed up by the right wing media for parents to fret over, because when I went to this site it was hella lame.
In short order I surfed through all 904 cams and the most interesting thing on there was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment of this woman picking her nose:
Fantastic. Among the things to be seen, a litter of puppies, a snowman, some test patterns, several overweight fiftysomething men naked and spanking it, and a kitty. I liked the kitty. If I wanted to see naked old folk decongesting the weasel I would go to Southern-Gents.com.
So there were no pretty teenage girls in tank tops to talk to. *sigh*. It occurs to me that the old guys may have known where the girls were at (judging by their enthusiastic munchkin-punching), didn't feel like asking them for some reason.
''Hey, um... what you watching there? Really? Ok, well I see you're enjoying your Oprah reruns so I'll leave you to it..''
Oh well. Though I'm biased, I'm going to recommend my own webcam setup over ww.com, there are often more than 904 of them online, and there's usually something cool to watch. Though I was initially disappointed that my cam hacking never turned up any naked folks, ww.com has shown me that its probably a blessing. [read on...]
Rent-A-Girlfriend
I'm not even going to try to explain what I was doing here, I just came across this section in this UK girl's sex store:
Virtual Girlfriend
If you want - together we can build a profile of you so I can become your virtual girlfriend! I can send you personal love letters, text messages, panties etc. for you to show your friends (we can arrange all the details between ourselves like where & when we met & what we got upto last night ! All the juicy details !!!!
Don't worry if you are shy, just contact me- I quite like the shy type!!!
prices start from £20 a week
Damn some people are lame. I'm not quite sure where I stand on the paid sex thing, some guys (accident victims, quadraplegics, AFCs) cant get laid any other way. And the sex trade can be very empowering and liberating for some women, although nothing exuses the abuses of the street/sex slavery criminals.
All these complex ethical questions can be sidestepped though if some guy is just paying a chick to not have sex with him, and to pretend that she is so other guys wont think he's such a loser. Wow that's LSE.
www.lucyssecrets.com
UPDATE: OK, I've gotten over my incredulity and the dirt and saliva off the bottom of my dropped jaw. THis is just so novel that I'm starting to think up some practical jokes, and I suppose if you dont know any HBs this girl might make a handy pivot, if she's willing to take money to call on cue and read a script. Not too expensive considering how useful a good pivot can be, and hard to come by if you're convincing them without money. But... damn.[read on...]
Golfland Terrorist Threat
The US Department of Homeland security was put on alert earlier this week as reports surfaced that Al Quaeda, Islamic Jihad and other terrist organisations were planning a major attack on, er, Golfland, in San Jose.
The three acre miniature golf course, described as San Jose's equivalent of the White House or Sears Tower is an obvious target for those who wish to do America lasting, devastating harm.
From BoingBoing.net
The Department of Homeland Security's crack squad of anti-terrorist intelligence analysts have been vigilantly guarding a miniature golf course near San Jose, California, having identified it as a prime target for an attack on America. Imagine the symbolism of a miniature windmill in flames -- truly such would be a spiritual blow from which America could never recover.
Link[read on...]
Tampons
This was on bash.org
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, ''the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?''
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
[read on...]
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