London Tu

Note to travellers: Do not go to Nottingham, it is dodgy as fuck. It contains - if anyone is interested - some Disneylandish Robin Hood 'historical' sites, the Sherwood Forresters Regimental Museum, Nottingham Castle (nothing special) and lots and lots of greasy, wheezy pigeons. It is crossed off my 'Possible Places to Live' list. Lots of grime and people covered in tattoos. Lots of litter and lots of litter bins. The London Underground is very clean and it doesn't have any litter bins. Goes to show.
Anywhere that gives pigeons emphysema should recieve a wide berth.

From an aesthetic point of view, the buildings need painting and the local accent has an 'ee' sound to it. There is an art gallery. I didn't go.

From a cultural perspective, there are many stands selling England flags and football merchandise. And many football themed shops and advertising campaigns. I judge the Yob Quotient of a city on the proportion of cars I see flying football team flags. (Yobs being loud assertive young men with bad English who binge on Lager and then pick figts with random people. Sometimes form figting gangs. Use the words 'cunt' and 'fuck' a lot. Most sentences sometimes). Nottingham has a very high Yob Quotient.

The countryside around Nottingham is lovely. Tiny villages, old churches, hedged fields and stands of trees. Wheat, gypsophila (sp?), blackberries, those white flowers whose name I don't yet know.

Note to self: this county will be excellent for making crop circles. The fields are sheltered by hedgerows and the rolling countryside, and the local news doesn't seem to have anything better to report.

Something I did enjoy in Nottingham was watching a chugger on the High Street solicit money from a pretty young woman. I should pay more attention to chuggers, they have useful social skills to teach us.

This guy walks up to a strange, hot, young woman in the street, holds her attention for 15 minutes, makes her smile and laugh whilst talking about some sombre disease, pushes the right emotional buttons and walks off with her credit card number. All while looking like a hobo and staring at her breasts. Amazing.