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category: thingsSea Monster in the English Channel
Several blogs are reporting sightings of a weird marine animal in the Channel. A big weird marine animal, which is strange because I've met a few old-timers in the Channel Islands who'll swear blind there's something like this living out there. Tall tales of a Channel Monster tended to come up after a little drinking on quiet winter nights, when there was no-one else in the bar, just a few of my elderly regulars and me serving the drinks. I never took too much of what they said to heart (fishermen have stories for every occasion). They did have a fairly consistent description though and after some prodding and skeptical remarks, an old salt called Ormer drew me this sketch:
Turns out more and more people are coming forward with sightings, so there may be something to it. The Association of Maritime Research are looking for witnesses and reported sightings:
Calling for Witnesses
The AMR’s success in identifying this marine phenomenon is dependent upon the participation of the general public. As the first report came from Dover they have put in place a multimedia campaign calling for witnesses to come forward. This will include the distribution of flyers, radio, press and online communications.
We are calling for all witnesses of sightings of any strange phenomena in the English Channel to contact the AMR immediately via our website www.thechannelcreature.com. A reward is being offered for evidence leading directly to proof of this creature’s existence.
[read on...]
Ransom Notes Back Online
In 2005 or so I made an image macro that arranged letters cut from newspapers and magazines into text - like ransom notes on an old TV series. It's been offline for awhile , but no more. The ransom note generator is back, rewritten from scratch. It now has an RSS feed, an improved gallery and a bunch of new effects. Enjoy :-)
Desert flower from Yummifruitbat at WikiMedia Commons
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Two Vicars for the Casserole
Following are the first six chapters of Anrew Montgomery's autobiographical novel Two Vicars for the Casserole. The paperback, which can be purchased at Lulu, comes highly recommended. Illustrations by Ash Latham.
CHAPTER ONE: ALDERNEY
The Channel Islands, those three words conjuring up sunshine, palm trees, white sandy beaches, tax-free drinks and cigarettes. Gatwick Airport was quiet, and our flight was called, on time. A smart and efficient-looking air hostess, with clipboard, forage cap and smile fixed firmly in place, led us out to the ’plane. My spirits sank when I saw it - a tiny, four-engined Heron which could take sixteen. “At least,” I cheered myself up by thinking, “we’ll get free gin but there’s not much room to get a trolley down the aisle”, as I climbed the three short steps and poked my head around the door.
“I wonder how she is going to get the trolley over that?” – ‘that’ being an enormous hump which crossed the narrow aisle - the main spar holding the wings on.
“Enjoy your flight”, the hostess smiled, then slammed the door shut from the outside. “Ah well, fasten safety belts.” Soon we were aloft in clear, sunny skies, and after about half an hour I looked down and saw a tiny island which looked most inviting and friendly, with small coves and sandy beaches, with the centre rising steeply, seemingly mostly grass-covered. “Must be Herm”, I thought, knowing my Channel Island names, but being sadly lacking in geographical knowledge. “We’ll soon be in Alderney.” We came in closer and closer, a long breakwater became visible, then a harbour, a church, houses and boats looking as though they were floating on air, the turquoise water was so still and clear.
“We’re not going to try and land this on that, there isn’t room!” But on we flew, inexorably, and lower and lower, until we were level with the top of a vertical cliff, flew up a steep valley, and plopped neatly down on a well-cropped grass airstrip, and rumbled to a clattering halt. Once the engines were cut, the quietness was almost oppressive.
Mum and Dad were there to meet me, with an ancient but dignified, faded pale blue half-timbered Morris Minor Traveller. Down from the airfield, through the cobbled streets of the small town, down towards the harbour and Braye Bay.
The house was in a cheerful, narrowing bit of street between the school and the Harbour Lights Hotel. A black dog, sound asleep in the middle of the road, woke, and ambled out of our way. Two tow-headed children, serious, hand in hand, in bathers, one of them holding a bucket, the other a shrimping net, picked their way between cottages, heading for the golden sweep of Braye. (continues after the jump...)
[read on...]
Thinking About Proas
A Proa is a style of boat which is very fast and very efficient. Proas are symmetrical lengthways and always sail with the same side to the wind, reversing direction and moving the sail when changing tack. On the windward side is a small outrigger (ama) which is weighted by the crew. Multihull.de has a gallery of traditional proa designs from various parts of the pacific.
I wonder if a more modern design could take the form of a trimaran with sliding aka (crossbeams), so the ama on the leeward side is pulled next to the main hull and the ama on the windward side extends away, pulling on the mast via sprung cables. Fresh water is then pumped as ballast into a tank on the windward ama. As a conventional trimaran heels away from the wind one of the amas is pushed deeper into the water, increasing drag and causing the boat to want to turn. Sliding akas could reduce this (I think).
If the wind were on the same side long enough to warrant the effort - thinking of a large boat - stores and equipment could be moved into lockers on the ama to further increase speed. This gives some of the efficiency of a proa but uses more conventional sails and has a stern, rather than two bows. Being able to move the amas may also make the boat easier to right if it capsizes, though I recall reading somewhere that trimarans should be righted bow-over-stern instead of sideways.
Picture is of Queequeg 18, a rather attractive design by Michael Schacht of ProaFile, modified to illustrate the idea. (Queequeg was the noble savage type in Herman Melville's Moby Dick)
Update: This has been done before, Timothy Colman's Crossbow had a sliding aka design and set the world speed record in 1972. [read on...]
Show Some Love: Blair Toilets
Afrigadget has a post on a subject close to my heart; the Blair Toilet. My youth was filled with moments squatting over or aiming at one of these marvels of Zimbabwean technology, and though I was never struck with awe at the flies that weren't there or the cholera I didn't come down with, I should have been. They were developed in the 1970s by one Dr Peter Morgan at the Blair Institute and have probably saved thousands if not hundreds of thousands of lives since.
image swiped from Equator Initiative
The genius of these things is their simplicity, ordinary outhouses have been around forever but this version has very significant improvements which will not be immediately obvious. It's a fly trap, removing a major disease vector at the very spot where they're likely to be contaminated with something nasty. They're usually built as a single spiraled wall, so there's no door, which combined with the vent means they stink a lot less than one might imagine and less than a sitting toilet can in similar circumstances. Having a hole in the floor with its predictable halo of urine is actually an advantage over a seat because you squat and make sure not to touch it - if there were a seat you might sit on it, and in areas without running water that's not good.
Squatting is also better for you, human plumbing was sculpted by millions of years of evolution to void itself in exactly this way. Sitting on a seat means muscles pulling on each other awkwardly, introducing low level stresses to the system that over time may produce hemorrhoids and other problems. Admittedly, a pit latrine is probably not most westerners idea of a hygienic, dignified way to make brownies but I think that more of a cultural bias than any rational objection to the things (the French have a highly developed version).
For comparison, some of the absolute, most unbelievably awful toilets in the world are operated by the Zimbabwean Government. I once had to go though a security screening and acquire a permit to use the chimbuzi at a brutal concrete monster of a building in Harare, suspected Soviet design. It could be smelled a block away. I'll spare you most details, but let's just say that it was nobodys job to clean it and overflow of raw sewage covered most of the floor and some of the walls. There was running water - all the time! - but not to the cisterns. The whole affair was only marginally better than the traditional 'flying toilet' which the Blair VIP largely replaced.
For those in happy ignorance (ha!) the flying toilet can be found thoughout the developing world and probably in poorer parts of the developed (and Rock festivals). It takes the form of a plastic bag and a ritualistic shaky-butt dance, you then tie the bag in a knot and throw it. You don't throw it anywhere in particular; just throw it, so that the bag ends up further away from you than before. It's a gift to the community that falls from the heavens several rows of shantys away from where it originated, and the lucky recipients will never know who is their benefactor.
Because of these circumstances the Blair toilet is a revolutionary work of pure design, it can be constructed very cheaply, requires no special materials or manufacturing technologies and makes the poorest communities significantly safer and more pleasant. It should be more widely recognized as an important invention of the 20th century.
Related: Composting Toilets
[read on...]
Rishathra
In science fiction, Rishathra is a noun/verb meaning sex with an alien species; like when Space Commander PeePee McBravo consummates his surpise affair with a green skinned Venutian princess (and her pet jellyfish, Snapper) - that's rishathra. It was coined by Larry Niven and is a classic theme of geeky speculation. Needless to say, I'm loving the images being made with the Robin Corner Shock Pose Generator.
Robin - the Boy Wonder - watches Alf have sex with a seal. By Chromium
I've added a greyscale thing to it, the colors sometimes clash between the base and the overlay. Important when exposing minors to peril and intercourse. [read on...]
Blank Map of Zimbabwe
Today I found myself looking for a public domain, Wikipedia-style blank map of Zimbabwe. Could I find one? Could I buggery. So... I the author of this work, hereby release this map of Zimbabwe into the public domain, worldwide. No guarantee is made or implied of completeness, correctness or fitness for any purpose. All possible liability is disclaimed, blah blah blah:
Ditto huge version and this small one:
Based mostly on a UN map and some reading I did, may not be entirely up to date due to gerrymandering. [read on...]
Self Portrait with Cobwebs
Made with Ze Frank's scribbler thing, a fantastic example of how computers can be used to enhance creativity, rather than confine or suppress it. Anyone can make an attractive drawing with this, even with a nipple mouse :-)
Related: Ze Frank speaking at Ted [read on...]
Sea Monster on Google Maps
The Caspian Sea Monster was a secret Russian vehicle devloped during the cold war, a type of Ekranoplan or 'Ground Effect Vehicle'. They are a form of aircraft that fly a few meters above the surface, close enough that vortices cannot form under the wings. Very fast, stable and efficient. This one pictured had (has?) a lifting power of 1000 tonnes, could travel over 400km per hour and was effectively invisible to RADAR and SONAR, being above water but below the radar floor.
[google maps link]
There's another, smaller one nearby. This type was kitted out as a missile platform and was intended to provide a serious hazard to shipping. Just a thought - aren't there organizations besides the Russian military who might want to move large quantities of stuff quickly and cheaply over great distances while being invisible to radar? The radar of those meddlesome coast guard people for instance, and their nosy friends at customs and immigration? (continues after the jump)
[read on...]
Incan Geoglyphs
Incan geoglyphs in Chile. When I was (more credulous) child I read most of Erich Von Danniken's books on the subject of Nazca lines, Incans and aliens, aaah memories. Pretty cool archaeological specimens too :-)
More at Google Sightseeing [read on...]
The Book of Beginnings
The Book of Beginnings is a collection of the unfinished stories of POV-Ray artist Gilles Tran. They're fascinating, and end mid-sentence, reading them gives a strange sense of channel surfing. I'm sure he wasn't the first to say it, but Mystery said it best: 'always leave them wanting more.' Usually illustrations follow the story, with Tran it seems to be the other way round, which I suppose makes sense; if you spend hundreds of hours working on a scene in a ray-tracing modeller you must have a pretty good sense of it and the world it belongs in by the time you're finished. Highly recommended.
The Book of Beginnings (Francais) [read on...]
Picture of Everything 2
An artist by the name of Howard Hallis has made a picture of everything, like the most incredible Where's Waldo ever, and the most massive single instance of character copyright infringement I've yet seen, Howard Rules! First person (or simmilar) to find the following ten characters wins a candy bar and a lifetime supply of jumpers. Also, recognition.
(1) Token Black (South Park)
(2) Tinkerbell (Disney's Peter Pan)
(3) Marvin the Paranoid Android (HHGTTG, 2004)
(4) Cheetara (Thundercats)
(5) Emily (Tim Burton's Corpse Bride)
(6) Bam-Bam (The Flintstones)
(7) Double-D (Ed, Edd 'n Eddy)
(8) Goliath (Gargoyles, I'm dating myself here)
(9) The Cat in The Hat (Dr Seuss)
(10) Pikachu (Pokémon)
It's odd, to me, that I know the names and adventures of hundreds of cartoon characters. I know tons about them. I don't tend to know the full names of most of the acquaintances I pass on a daily basis, and next to nothing about their lives to date. So! ... mark up a copy of the picture with these ten numbers and email it in. I need to get rid of all these jumpers.
Special thanks to E.
[read on...]
Senior Citizen, Trailer Pirate
How do you like these apples!
I think this is outrageously cool. A DIY houseboat made from a caravan and barrel pontoons. I fully intend to be wealthy before I retire, if not, I might build one of these and find a large body of fresh water to float it around. I did some research. EBay sometimes has listings for old caravans that have axle trouble and/or dodgy electrics. They go for a song; check this out:
From the description: IT TOWS OK AND ALL RUNNING LIGHTS ARE WORKING ALL TYRES OK AND THE BRAKES, WIN IT TOW IT AWAY. SOLD AS SEEN PLEASE DONT BRING IT BACK!!!!
Clean out most of the junk inside, put in a double bed, a gas wok (for vegetarian stir fries and mushroom and tomato omlettes), and float that mofo. Assuming a four berth caravan weighs about 2500kg I'd want the pontoons to support 5500kg or so, maximum displacement. So that's 28 heavy duty 55 Gal plastic drums (208 liters each), 14 per pontoon lashed seven a side around a pair of aluminium pipes. No way that's sinking. Many recycling centres will give plastic drums away free or for a token charge, if they've contained something toxic they can be hard to resell and many small businesses aren't likely to bother. You can buy them new for US$20 or so, I personally prefer to make things out of stuff from the trash. More character that way, gives a history.
More aluminium pipes laterally between the pontoons to cradle the caravan chassis. Take the wheels off the caravan, strap it down, and we're about done. Some welding to attach an outboard motor, bitumen paint on the underside, maybe some wooden decking over the pontoons, a dinghy to tow behind it, and an anchor. Furnish to taste.
Bonus: Make a bigass kite to pull it with. And a pirate flag :-) Getting old is going to kick teh bottom.
Via Modern Mechanix[read on...]
Ransom Note Generator
Due to another project I had a bunch of scans of cutout letters lying around, thought I'd throw them together in a script to make those cliche ransom notes that appear in old episodes of McGuyver and Magnum PI. And, here it is, enjoy :-)
UPDATE: I did wonder about posting this. I mean, virtual stationary for making threats, is that something the world needs? The first submission was from a school teacher in England. Seems pretty sincere to me:
Lets keep it.[read on...]
A Better Periodic Table
Finally, someone has made a periodic table that's easy to visualise and remember. Every science classroom should have one of these, instead of the standard dull color coded ones found in high schools everywhere, the ones full of tiny numbers and symbols with no explanation of either that make the subject seem boring and hard. Creating a clear visual-memory hook for this information is such an obvious good idea that I'm surprised I haven't come across it before now.
Shiny as this is, I think it can be even better. Some images are easier to associate than others, say silicon, which is a vague grey lump in this one, maybe better replaced by a picture of a silicon chip or better yet a pair of breasts (easiest thing in the world for a schoolkid to remember - as well as associating something pleasant and fun with the tasks at hand). What group is silicon in? silicon -> breasts, between a diamond (carbon) and a little metal bust of a german guy (germanium) -> group 14. Easy.
View, download or order from Theodore Gray.com [read on...]
FBI Seal Generator
Brinkster.net has this neato federal seal generator, going to make me up some job titles and busniess cards for Alderney week. Just add American accent... [read on...]
Rusting Trawlers off Guinea
Greenpeace.org has an article on their blog about a flotilla of decaying chinese trawlers rusting off the coast of West Africa. The boats are floating wrecks with the crews stranded on board, sometimes for years, with those that still run being used for illegal fishing.
The article focuses more on the crews and the companies responsible. Though the situation's tragic, I think the wrecks are just beautiful. I would love to go take pictures of these things. The color and textures are amazing.
Gallery
Via BoingBoing [read on...]
US Declaration of Independence Wallpaper
My current wallaper, a scanned section from the US Declaration of Independence. [click to enlarge]. I'm no apologist for the Bush administration (or Republicans on general), but I do admire the principles on which the country was founded and I'm a big fan of the US Constitution. Now if only more Americans would read it...
Scan is from the US National Archives website.
[read on...]
Retro Cell Handset
I am so getting one of these! Apparently it's a japanese fashion trend; get a big old handset and have it slung on a belt hook for your cell phone. Wonder if it can be modded into one of those styling 1960s handsets, like with a metal rim. hmmm...
Cooo000oool!
This and other fun peacocking stuff at: FredFlare.com
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Chinese Print Flip-Flops
This company called Unica Home makes flip flops that you press out of a printed sheet of foam. Nothing new about the product, but the designs are beautiful, check out this print made from chinese newspaper ads...
UnicaHome.com Link
via [read on...]
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